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面对终末期病人,说这三句话要三思

2016-08-22 佚名 康健

18床位的T小姐,56岁,乳腺癌末期,因为食欲不佳入院。入院之后,经过与病人和先生仔细地讨论,病人决定不放鼻胃管,顺其自然。后来一些症状都调整的不错,和先生以及团队也逐步建立了默契。面对这样的病人总让会感受到自己可以创造的价值,只是,这样的价值有时也是很脆弱的。一天查房时,床旁边出现了二位没看过的亲友,询问之下,发现是病人娘家的远亲,前几个月住一般病房时也有来看过。跟他们聊了二句,也听了他们跟病人

18床位的T小姐,56岁,乳腺癌末期,因为食欲不佳入院。入院之后,经过与病人和先生仔细地讨论,病人决定不放鼻胃管,顺其自然。后来一些症状都调整的不错,和先生以及团队也逐步建立了默契。面对这样的病人总让会感受到自己可以创造的价值,只是,这样的价值有时也是很脆弱的。


一天查房时,床旁边出现了二位没看过的亲友,询问之下,发现是病人娘家的远亲,前几个月住一般病房时也有来看过。跟他们聊了二句,也听了他们跟病人先生聊了几句,心中不祥的预感油然而生。只听那位远方亲戚说:

「唉呦,才几个月不见,怎么变成这样!唉!早知道那时如果……」
「你看看(跟先生说)!这么瘦,都没有吃东西吗?为什么不放鼻胃管呢?」
最后要走的时候,再补一句:「我下次再来看你喔!不要放弃,加油喔!」

在这边我想和各位朋友讨论一下,面对终末期病人,有几句话再说出口之前可以再思考一下:

思考第一句:「早知道那时……如果……」

生命充满了选择,面对疾病也是。无论病人之前做了什么决定导致了目前的状况,说这些对于他(她)的受苦来说是完全没有意义的!说了也只是让病人不断地去回想过去所做的选择,而感到悔恨,无法面对现在所处的状况,因而很难达到平安的境地。我推荐这样说:「之前做了很多努力,真的很辛苦吧?」

思考第二句:「为什么不做XX医疗」或是「为什么要做XX医疗」

这句话我觉得如果是医疗专业人员,或是非常了解病人就医过程及医疗选择历程的朋友说出口,给予第二选择的建议,其实是ok的。但若是一个平常较疏远的朋友,可能并不了解,要做出现下的医疗决定,背后有多少医疗团队的努力和病人内心的挣扎!偏偏一般人又非常重视朋友的看法,所以一句话就可能使之前的沟通全部翻盘……我推荐这样说:「你选择这样的医疗方式,真的很勇敢,可以告诉我你怎么做决定的吗?」

思考第三句:「加油!」

「加油」这二个字可以是激励的魔法,也可以是消磨意志的魔咒。我们几乎每天都会说声加油:上课时跟学生说「加油」,上班时跟下属说「加油」,回家时跟儿女说「加油」,甚至连领导都成天把「加油」在嘴边。彷佛说了加油,鼓励就会传达,人生就会改变。一般状况下,也许是的。但对于末期病人呢?说了「加油」后,病人可能会想:「难道我不够加油吗?」;家属可能会思考:「我还要怎样加油才可以呢?」是故除非是病患的至亲或多年好友,可以让对方正确理解「加油」的意思,不然,我推荐这样说:「嘿,我会尽量多陪陪你。」面对死亡的孤单幽微,也许除了加油,需要的是更多的陪伴。

我相信每个人面对末期病患,都是抱持着善意说话的,因此,我们更要思考,如何将自己的善念转化为精准的话语,给予正向的陪伴。


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    2016-08-23 yde2801fm***3926(暂无匿称)

    说话确实是一门学问,值得学习

    0

  3. 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content=临终关怀是门学问,从身边小事做起, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=50, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cacheapi.medsci.cn/resource/upload/20160803/IMG57A185CE577478201.jpg, createdBy=bad41730551, createdName=小青虫, createdTime=Mon Aug 22 20:33:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-22, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-08-23 1771ae4158m

    沟通不仅是医患之间,更是患者和家属间很重要的事

    0

  4. 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content=临终关怀是门学问,从身边小事做起, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=50, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cacheapi.medsci.cn/resource/upload/20160803/IMG57A185CE577478201.jpg, createdBy=bad41730551, createdName=小青虫, createdTime=Mon Aug 22 20:33:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-22, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-08-23 1e0d2fb7m34(暂无匿称)

    无论你怎么交流,敏感的患者宗会浮想联翩的!

    0

  5. 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content=临终关怀是门学问,从身边小事做起, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=50, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cacheapi.medsci.cn/resource/upload/20160803/IMG57A185CE577478201.jpg, createdBy=bad41730551, createdName=小青虫, createdTime=Mon Aug 22 20:33:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-22, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-08-23 wzf990214

    学习了!不错哦!

    0

  6. 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content=临终关怀是门学问,从身边小事做起, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=50, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cacheapi.medsci.cn/resource/upload/20160803/IMG57A185CE577478201.jpg, createdBy=bad41730551, createdName=小青虫, createdTime=Mon Aug 22 20:33:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-22, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-08-23 flysky120

    病人痛苦,心态不好,有了你的说法对患者有好处。

    0

  7. 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createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/NUyjXTCJjo6KcicAVC1MwuEYA6ZJS2RZEJp0LgvdXH072EszfvD8xib0UGViaFO626UZIkB4ibvY1NicVJDFUSYoQjZvL6gnjziaYl/0, createdBy=48511932758, createdName=1e0d2fb7m34(暂无匿称), createdTime=Tue Aug 23 06:55:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-23, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=102457, encodeId=c5f210245e7a, content=学习了!不错哦!, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=84, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/mStl88fu4NfNLvzZhgPxRiaKicWybj5Q5KN7PWibALciaJ4W5bZwTlDSFRibFu87125pCq0IXePrC0mpbiasADRqL4NcjUoyQCT9De/0, createdBy=7c7e1636498, createdName=wzf990214, createdTime=Tue Aug 23 06:42:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-23, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=102451, encodeId=a75010245185, content=病人痛苦,心态不好,有了你的说法对患者有好处。, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=96, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cacheapi.medsci.cn/resource/upload/20160718/IMG578C993D395567540.jpg, createdBy=59b81918946, createdName=flysky120, createdTime=Tue Aug 23 06:13:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-23, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=102444, encodeId=508910244439, content=好好学习一下说话的艺术, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=0, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/NUyjXTCJjo5nmIH5IQqCKjJgSCuicPWUWOUcdqt1ROPnEiaOYN4pSHibDv8la3OxNLalvuvUXn8clpJlrpuyTpckgt9OPkeSSdT/0, createdBy=8fd71930726, createdName=半夏微凉, createdTime=Tue Aug 23 04:35:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-23, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=102427, encodeId=dbbc10242e12, content=病人是痛苦的, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=45, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cacheapi.medsci.cn/resource/upload/20160811/IMG57AC91915ACA64463.jpg, createdBy=9c351934462, createdName=知难而进, createdTime=Mon Aug 22 23:22:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-22, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=102389, encodeId=1b6d10238924, content=医学语言学,以前选修课, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=50, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/mONcle9pic3xwU6047w4GQZHmaJMe3cGxCqPS0x43a9R04dN3HrAn5diaR2N4pEwoibqiaiaA3m6ia3g3XbZXadIomlRa5WAvjSUHb/0, createdBy=93aa1715091, createdName=为啥子, createdTime=Mon Aug 22 21:57:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-22, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=102326, encodeId=ec351023263a, content=临终关怀是门学问,从身边小事做起, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=50, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cacheapi.medsci.cn/resource/upload/20160803/IMG57A185CE577478201.jpg, createdBy=bad41730551, createdName=小青虫, createdTime=Mon Aug 22 20:33:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-22, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-08-23 半夏微凉

    好好学习一下说话的艺术

    0

  8. 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level=null, likeNumber=96, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cacheapi.medsci.cn/resource/upload/20160718/IMG578C993D395567540.jpg, createdBy=59b81918946, createdName=flysky120, createdTime=Tue Aug 23 06:13:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-23, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=102444, encodeId=508910244439, content=好好学习一下说话的艺术, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=0, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/NUyjXTCJjo5nmIH5IQqCKjJgSCuicPWUWOUcdqt1ROPnEiaOYN4pSHibDv8la3OxNLalvuvUXn8clpJlrpuyTpckgt9OPkeSSdT/0, createdBy=8fd71930726, createdName=半夏微凉, createdTime=Tue Aug 23 04:35:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-23, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=102427, encodeId=dbbc10242e12, content=病人是痛苦的, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=45, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cacheapi.medsci.cn/resource/upload/20160811/IMG57AC91915ACA64463.jpg, createdBy=9c351934462, createdName=知难而进, createdTime=Mon Aug 22 23:22:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-22, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=102389, encodeId=1b6d10238924, content=医学语言学,以前选修课, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=50, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/mONcle9pic3xwU6047w4GQZHmaJMe3cGxCqPS0x43a9R04dN3HrAn5diaR2N4pEwoibqiaiaA3m6ia3g3XbZXadIomlRa5WAvjSUHb/0, createdBy=93aa1715091, createdName=为啥子, createdTime=Mon Aug 22 21:57:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-22, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=102326, encodeId=ec351023263a, content=临终关怀是门学问,从身边小事做起, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=50, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cacheapi.medsci.cn/resource/upload/20160803/IMG57A185CE577478201.jpg, createdBy=bad41730551, createdName=小青虫, createdTime=Mon Aug 22 20:33:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-22, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-08-22 知难而进

    病人是痛苦的

    0

  9. 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objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=45, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cacheapi.medsci.cn/resource/upload/20160811/IMG57AC91915ACA64463.jpg, createdBy=9c351934462, createdName=知难而进, createdTime=Mon Aug 22 23:22:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-22, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=102389, encodeId=1b6d10238924, content=医学语言学,以前选修课, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=50, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/mONcle9pic3xwU6047w4GQZHmaJMe3cGxCqPS0x43a9R04dN3HrAn5diaR2N4pEwoibqiaiaA3m6ia3g3XbZXadIomlRa5WAvjSUHb/0, createdBy=93aa1715091, createdName=为啥子, createdTime=Mon Aug 22 21:57:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-22, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=102326, encodeId=ec351023263a, content=临终关怀是门学问,从身边小事做起, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=50, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cacheapi.medsci.cn/resource/upload/20160803/IMG57A185CE577478201.jpg, createdBy=bad41730551, createdName=小青虫, createdTime=Mon Aug 22 20:33:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-22, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-08-22 为啥子

    医学语言学,以前选修课

    0

  10. 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objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=45, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cacheapi.medsci.cn/resource/upload/20160811/IMG57AC91915ACA64463.jpg, createdBy=9c351934462, createdName=知难而进, createdTime=Mon Aug 22 23:22:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-22, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=102389, encodeId=1b6d10238924, content=医学语言学,以前选修课, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=50, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/mONcle9pic3xwU6047w4GQZHmaJMe3cGxCqPS0x43a9R04dN3HrAn5diaR2N4pEwoibqiaiaA3m6ia3g3XbZXadIomlRa5WAvjSUHb/0, createdBy=93aa1715091, createdName=为啥子, createdTime=Mon Aug 22 21:57:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-22, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=102326, encodeId=ec351023263a, content=临终关怀是门学问,从身边小事做起, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=50, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cacheapi.medsci.cn/resource/upload/20160803/IMG57A185CE577478201.jpg, createdBy=bad41730551, createdName=小青虫, createdTime=Mon Aug 22 20:33:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-22, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-08-22 小青虫

    临终关怀是门学问,从身边小事做起

    0

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