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“医生综合征”，你中招了没！ ​

2016-06-01 佚名 嗵嗵e研

医生职业病
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三百六十行，行行轮轴转，遍地吐槽声，处处综合征。常常有上班族抱怨说：每天上班赚的，只够精神损失费。更无奈的是我们的医生朋友，即便身处医院，依旧是寻不到那颗解决自身综合征的小！药！丸！

三百六十行，行行轮轴转，遍地吐槽声，处处综合征。常常有上班族抱怨说：每天上班赚的，只够精神损失费。更无奈的是我们的医生朋友，即便身处医院，依旧是寻不到那颗解决自身综合征的小！药！丸！


啥?医生也有综合征？
还是第一次听说~
都有哪些临床特征呢？
说来听听，大家集体会诊一下~


特征一：我觉得我龙飞凤舞


作为行医多年的医生，练就一手龙飞凤舞的手迹自己都不觉得意外，虽然小时候也是硬笔书法的好手，但是每天面对那么多的病患，我真的心想写一手好字，但力气一点没有哇！

至于那些说神马，写得潦草就是为了让患者看不懂以示道行深浅的熊孩纸，请自己去面壁，我们的深浅看疗效！！

特征二：我觉得我火眼金睛


看医疗剧就自带槽点，分分钟指出一堆常识性错误。

医生嘛，就是严谨和专业的代名词啊！怎么可能任由狗血偶像剧随便造次呢！
上一秒你还失血休克，下一秒就可以站起来耍帅，复原能力这么爆表，你咋不上天呢？

特征三：我觉得我见微知著


每到吃饭的时候，我就会忍不住夹着某块肉开始琢磨，这是哪个部位？
正常人点牛排：服务员，麻烦给我来一份菲力牛排。
医生点牛排：服务员，麻烦给我一份前腰骨位置的牛排。

特征四：我觉得我草木皆兵


值夜班时，整个人进入拉警报状态，不论醒着睡着，听到敲门声或者呼叫器响起就能跳起来，不管哪儿来的手机铃声，都忍不住看看自己的手机，没有例外！

特征五：我觉得我能风卷残云


虽然从小就被教育说吃饭需要细嚼慢咽，但自打当了医生，我只能三口并做一口吃，十分钟内解决午饭。因为不吃，你可能扛不过下午那台手术，但吃太慢，又会忍不住心疼等你的病患。只是当速度成为了习惯，你和家人用餐就有了“时差”，他们才喝一碗汤，你已经把饭菜消灭精光！

特征六：我觉得我能天下无菌


平时除了看诊、巡房、做手术，做得最多的事就是，洗手、洗手、洗手。神马？你说你洗手枯燥无聊？告诉你，我们洗起手，可以唯美得像万花筒！

（看出来了吗？这是正确洗手法则！）

特征七：我觉得我铁面柔肠


虽说人固有一死，但不管是泰山，还是鸿毛，每一个生命都应该有属于他们的精彩。作为医生，见惯了生老病死，也难有大喜大悲的，久而久之，就连对自己周边的人，也表现得“沉(leng)着(bing)冷(bing)静”,说好的留给病患的亲和力，请问我可以打包一点带回家么？


特征八：我还常常随访健忘


每天忙得团团转，还要电话、短信去随访？你以为我是心机BOY故意“选择性遗忘”，但事实上，一天的超负荷运转，大脑down机重启后，随访这个词就自动被delete进了垃圾箱。真是恨不得在掌心纹四个字“记！得！随！访！”

什么？这八条你全中了？
可还有治？这……就不要为难小编了……


如果你身边有没全中的医生朋友
你们可以结成对子，相互帮助……
小编只能帮到你这儿了

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    2016-08-28 ylzr123

    深度好文，值得学习，赞！

    0

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    2016-07-13 oo902

    中招了中招了

    0

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    2016-06-03 老段

    中招了！

    0

  4. [GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=106444, encodeId=a1981064441e, content=深度好文，值得学习，赞！, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=97, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/NUyjXTCJjo7s7ZCKOmmbBTD6nE7gcd5OZpvyGEzkxBP3S275k5ZJVrsPkotZhBglRHM9rKvcj1OgkssqhcnoPw8zIaMZTF8c/0, createdBy=4c441942088, createdName=ylzr123, createdTime=Sun Aug 28 21:43:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-28, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=92987, encodeId=06379298ede, content=中招了中招了, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=108, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=/v1.0.0/img/user_icon.png, createdBy=a37a1710612, createdName=oo902, createdTime=Wed Jul 13 20:16:00 CST 2016, time=2016-07-13, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=88399, encodeId=0d3c88399ef, content=中招了！, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=124, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=2d331664955, createdName=老段, createdTime=Fri Jun 03 20:49:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-03, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=1430623, encodeId=1508143062313, content=<a href='/topic/show?id=f9b9e9124a8' target=_blank style='color:#2F92EE;'>#综合征#</a>, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=0, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[TopicDto(id=79124, encryptionId=f9b9e9124a8, topicName=综合征)], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/aLGWoFXAyMbIu3qymFOyheQLjPSX3OUs5GmkyBlcCOwTPIeq3why9NGibxxUqYo6hcx8qZLHZFgNPnBK1yzWeOFpyg2OnWOt0/0, createdBy=fa4716, createdName=zhouqu_8, createdTime=Fri Jun 03 08:16:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-03, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=88268, encodeId=738288268df, content=哈哈, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=140, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=null, createdBy=6c891611001, createdName=medscc, createdTime=Thu Jun 02 16:04:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-02, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=88221, encodeId=96c7882210b, content=哈哈，是这样的~, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=181, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cacheapi.medsci.cn/resource/upload/20160313/IMG56E50DEC424F44672.jpg, createdBy=ce5b1699635, createdName=Lisa971, createdTime=Thu Jun 02 07:49:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-02, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=88180, encodeId=341d88180da, content=基本上都有, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=95, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/jW482SpianMayicTRbRZ5RzYWia0nMBiceOVIdKq3ibFKubbK7gTtfD7KAF6ogXiceRzVH2drFiaow6ibIukSoyFPpHDd9xdGSOj8hcZ/0, createdBy=41f01710035, createdName=醉清风, createdTime=Thu Jun 02 06:15:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-02, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=88178, encodeId=d2da881e8ce, content=有意思, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=120, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=61191606034, createdName=mym86538653, createdTime=Thu Jun 02 05:54:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-02, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=88114, encodeId=0c148811452, content=非常有意思，情况往往就是这样。, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=114, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=null, createdBy=c4a5105539, createdName=lovetcm, createdTime=Wed Jun 01 23:48:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-01, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=88109, encodeId=61f58810966, content=完全中招, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=123, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=2d331664955, createdName=老段, createdTime=Wed Jun 01 21:32:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-01, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-06-03 zhouqu_8

    #综合征#

    0

  5. [GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=106444, encodeId=a1981064441e, content=深度好文，值得学习，赞！, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=97, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/NUyjXTCJjo7s7ZCKOmmbBTD6nE7gcd5OZpvyGEzkxBP3S275k5ZJVrsPkotZhBglRHM9rKvcj1OgkssqhcnoPw8zIaMZTF8c/0, createdBy=4c441942088, createdName=ylzr123, createdTime=Sun Aug 28 21:43:00 CST 2016, time=2016-08-28, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=92987, encodeId=06379298ede, content=中招了中招了, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=108, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=/v1.0.0/img/user_icon.png, createdBy=a37a1710612, createdName=oo902, createdTime=Wed Jul 13 20:16:00 CST 2016, time=2016-07-13, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=88399, encodeId=0d3c88399ef, content=中招了！, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=124, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=2d331664955, createdName=老段, createdTime=Fri Jun 03 20:49:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-03, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=1430623, encodeId=1508143062313, content=<a href='/topic/show?id=f9b9e9124a8' target=_blank style='color:#2F92EE;'>#综合征#</a>, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=0, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[TopicDto(id=79124, encryptionId=f9b9e9124a8, topicName=综合征)], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/aLGWoFXAyMbIu3qymFOyheQLjPSX3OUs5GmkyBlcCOwTPIeq3why9NGibxxUqYo6hcx8qZLHZFgNPnBK1yzWeOFpyg2OnWOt0/0, createdBy=fa4716, createdName=zhouqu_8, createdTime=Fri Jun 03 08:16:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-03, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=88268, encodeId=738288268df, content=哈哈, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=140, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=null, createdBy=6c891611001, createdName=medscc, createdTime=Thu Jun 02 16:04:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-02, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=88221, encodeId=96c7882210b, content=哈哈，是这样的~, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=181, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cacheapi.medsci.cn/resource/upload/20160313/IMG56E50DEC424F44672.jpg, createdBy=ce5b1699635, createdName=Lisa971, createdTime=Thu Jun 02 07:49:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-02, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=88180, encodeId=341d88180da, content=基本上都有, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=95, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/jW482SpianMayicTRbRZ5RzYWia0nMBiceOVIdKq3ibFKubbK7gTtfD7KAF6ogXiceRzVH2drFiaow6ibIukSoyFPpHDd9xdGSOj8hcZ/0, createdBy=41f01710035, createdName=醉清风, createdTime=Thu Jun 02 06:15:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-02, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=88178, encodeId=d2da881e8ce, content=有意思, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=120, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=61191606034, createdName=mym86538653, createdTime=Thu Jun 02 05:54:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-02, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=88114, encodeId=0c148811452, content=非常有意思，情况往往就是这样。, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=114, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=null, createdBy=c4a5105539, createdName=lovetcm, createdTime=Wed Jun 01 23:48:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-01, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=88109, encodeId=61f58810966, content=完全中招, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=123, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=2d331664955, createdName=老段, createdTime=Wed Jun 01 21:32:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-01, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-06-02 medscc

    哈哈

    0

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    2016-06-02 Lisa971

    哈哈，是这样的~

    0

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    2016-06-02 醉清风

    基本上都有

    0

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    2016-06-02 mym86538653

    有意思

    0

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    2016-06-01 lovetcm

    非常有意思，情况往往就是这样。

    0

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    2016-06-01 老段

    完全中招

    0

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